Staffman Claims Victory in Strike, Prize Claw Machine

Ha haaa... the strike is over, victory is mine. I am now free to make a post to the blog.

Prologue:

I'm not sure how many of you are aware of the insidious force attempting to impose its will upon each and every one of us. I can't say how many others are attempting to fight this scourge, or the lengths to which I will go to finish the war my father started nearly two decades ago, but I can tell you this: I hate carnies. (for a complete definition of "carnie" please see www.urbandictionary.com). As my father before me, I have sworn to beat the carnies at their own games... literally. We build them, practice, and destroy them (which consists mostly of winning ridiculously large stuffed animals on the first try). To do justice to this legacy would take two or three blogs, or one really long one, none of which I'm willing to do right now.

And now to the blog:

So, because they are tangentially related to the aforementioned vendetta, I have begun to polish up on Prize Awarding Games (something my father did in his youth to hone his skill). Currently I am a level 14 Claw Machine Master, although I do have a ways to go.

The Claw Machine, as you all know, is a machine that presents stuffed animals, jewelry, watches, and or trinkets in a glass cage. At the top of the cage is a three pronged claw that can be maneuvered to pick up these items. Easy as pie, right? Au contraire (notice the actual French spelling... thanks Sidney High). In fact, the only thing that keeps the claw closed is gravity pulling downward on the three very light claws. Deciding that this was not evil enough, the syndicate that produces and or stocks these machines make sure to pack the items down, in the case of stuffed animals amongst each other, in the case of jewelry and such, into sand or pebbles. This helps to anchor the items and aids the carnie cartel in stealing the average user's fifty cents. I, ladies and gentlemen, am not your average user.

Last week I was successfully able to liberate a men's watch, a women's watch (from the mary kate and ashley collection) as well as what can only be described as a tin-covered, faux-silver finished, lead chain of some sort. How much did I spend you ask? Ahh, it is good to see that you learn so quickly and you realize that it is not ultimately winning the prize that wins the battle, but winning the prize cheaply.

3 dollars, ladies and gentlemen... I, your humble servant, a mere foot soldier in the Carnie Conflict was able to attain these three items for a meager 3 bucks. Had I done it for 2.50, I would have attained level 15.