Proposition 409 lbs.

So, I was walking home last night after work at about 11 PM (that's how I do sometimes). No big deal, I'm a dude, I can totally walk however far it is home. And I did, but somewhere on 11th street this incredibly large woman in lime green spandex hot pants emerged from the shadows of one of the building fronts. This lady was Sumo big. Huge. Easily 350, maybe more.

I said "emerged," but that's probably not accurate. I have to guess at exactly how she eluded the shadows because she moved very quickly. All I saw was a green blur and spandex friction sparks... Not unlike William "the Refridgerator" Perry, this woman was deceptively quick.

Anyway, she kept saying "I'm hongry". That's right... "hongry." As I passed she turned into Joey from friends and pulled the "How you doin'". Not wanting to be rude, I said "fine" and kept walking. I did not wait around to determine whether she was "hongry" in a literal or figurative sense...